Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

Friday, March 29, 2013

CD 35 - Teased

About a week ago I decided to POAS late at night. I'd been feeling pregnant despite wonky temps but I didn't honestly expect to get a line.

Except I did. Very faint, but both DH and I could see a line within the 5 minute mark. I took a picture around the 10 minute mark and sent it to 2 friends, who also saw a line.

I opened it up and there was no indent line. I thought this might finally be it.

But the next few days all other tests were negative. I expected the worst, another miscarriage, and yet here I am, a week later with no spotting or bleeding or anything.

I really thought that the girls saying they were getting lines without indents were just looking at the tests too long out of the time window. But no, FRER is indeed throwing out false positives.

Here is a picture of the test today to show you how dark the second line was:


So it was super disappointing that we got fooled, but at the same time I am glad it was not another loss.

We have decided NOT to take a break, but to keep trying.

We're moving this weekend and we haven't decided when we want to set up the new internet so who knows when you will see me next.

My 1 year mark is April 8th and it is beyond annoying that I probably won't even be on my 12th cycle by the time my 12th month of TTC completes. Most women get more chances to try because they have short or regular cycles. Having long cycles and TTC the same amount of time but with less tries to get pregnant is beyond aggravating.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

CD 22 - A Break

Oh boy. The last few days. Let me tell you.

DH came to me and told me after this cycle he no longer wanted to continue TTC.

At first I was so angry. This completely blindsided me and I did not know where it was coming from.

When I finally calmed down and we talked about it he explained he wanted to wait until we were done moving and settled in and knew how much his raise he just got was (we find out Thursday, they won't tell them ahead of time because they don't want people comparing raises).

We decided to for sure take next cycle off.

Even though I am only 11 cycles in, thanks to long cycles I am about to hit my 1 year mark off TTC. 12 months, 11 cycles, 1 miscarriage.

Really really shitty numbers.

And as much as I hate to admit defeat and stop trying, I think we do need a break. My mom is coming out to give us a little break to be a couple and go do fun stuff while we have a baby sitter.

While there is still a chance I am could be pregnant (I think I am in the 2ww now based on CM but I haven't been temping) I am not holding my breath. I full expect to hit the one year mark of TTC not even pregnant.

So that's what is going on right now.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

CD 11

Temp: 97.8

Bummed out today. This time last year I was miscarrying. DH had been so excited about the baby, probably the most excited he's ever been, and he'd told everyone at work. And here we are, still not pregnant. A month away from the 1 year TTC mark.

I asked DH tonight if he thought we'd get pregnant this month and he was quiet for a moment and then was like, "Honestly... no. I don't want to be negative, just going off of history. We haven't gotten pregnant yet so why would we get pregnant this month?"

He finally agrees something has to be wrong. He keeps insisting it could still be something wrong with him too, not just me. I don't believe that. I think it's me. But still makes me sad to see even DH has given up hope.

Monday, March 4, 2013

CD 10

VLOG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNMtkOZjdPA

And if you don't want to watch the VLOG, the just of it is I will start temping tomorrow.

If I O the same day as last cycle I will be due the day after the twins' 2nd birthday, and when I was pregnant with them I was due the day after DS#1's 2nd birthday. So it would be a funny coincidence if I got pregnant, not that I think I will get pregnant.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

CD 1 - AF

I checked at 11pm last night and it was still just spotting so at least she held off until today to give me an estimate LP of 9 days. Once more, not 100% sure on when I O'd because I did not take my temp.


So I will be temping this cycle after AF but no OPKs.


I think this AF has been a little easier emotionally. I did have a break down but at the same time I was really not expecting to get pregnant. I AM really not expecting to get pregnant, ever. But at the same time I was so sure I wasn't pregnant the cycle with the twins, so I guess I thought well I am so sure I am not pregnant again so I probably will be. I had some promising symptoms but it turned out to be nothing clearly.

So here we are. 11 months. 1 cycle away from my one year mark.

As if that doesn't make me feel bad enough DH's reaction was the worst yet. He had been so sure this would be our month and he didn't believe me at first when I said I wasn't pregnant until I explained I was bleeding. As it sunk in he was just so upset and then he started in with it's probably him, not me, and I tried to explain to him that I am really starting to believe there is scar tissue from the c-section.

We've always had to worry about miscarriages but now to be having trouble even getting pregnant.... I just really can't see it being anything other then the c-section. I know I need to lose weight but I am really not that much over where I was when I conceived the twins so I don't think it's that either, and I appear to be ovulating. IDK. I guess we'll just keep trying and if we are still not pregnant by 2 years post c-section I will go see a Dr about possible scarring issues.

Friday, February 22, 2013

CD 33 - 9 DPO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf4A2gLp8BU

AF will be here in full force by tomorrow AM, if not sooner. Right now it's just spotting, but that might change since we have 5 hours and 15 minutes until midnight.

Friday, February 15, 2013

CD 26 - 1 DPO

Here's my latest update:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDl30AW0U38

And I am going off of a V-Day O based on OPKs so I am calling this 1 DPO and I am in my 2 WW!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

CD 24

Temp: N/A


OPK: Negative


The top one is 3 minutes (you're not supposed to read until after 5 minutes when it's fully done) and then an hour later on the bottom one.

It doesn't look any darker to me then yesterdays. Sigh. Story of my life.

I am having ton of EWCM right now though.

Ugh I want this so bad. Just ovulate already!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

CD 23

Temp: N/A


OPK: Negative (almost positive!)



I am SO excited to see the line getting darker! It was getting darker but then CD 21 it went back to being almost negative again. I was so disappointed so I didn't test yesterday. I was not expecting it to be this dark today that's for sure! DTD tonight and hoping I O soon!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

CD 20

Temp: N/A


OPK: Negative















Negative but getting darker!!!! I am so excited! Bring on the O this week! I missed my window to have an October baby which sucks but I'll be due early November so those telling me that I am going to be jinxed into a November birthday because it makes the kids' birthdays January, December, November, bring on the jinxing!!

I picked up more OPKs and HPTs as I said I would. So now I have 9 (well now 8, I peed on one today!) OPKs, 3 CBD, and 11 FRER.










I think I'm set, no?