CD 2, Definitely AF

I was really nervous that when AF full on started it was going to be hard. Going to be a bad reminder.

But it's so completely not like a miscarriage I feel silly for even being worried. It's been awhile since I've had a period and honestly, I forgot what it felt like!

Sure I have some cramps but really I feel fine. A little bloated but no where near the bloating I get while pregnant.

I feel a little tired and honestly that bothers me more then the cramps. I certainly don't feel like I need to go take as much as a tylenol.

In an odd way though, it still is a reminder of how both losses were definitely losses. Feeling how different this feels and remembering how awful those were... the thoughts in my head just keep going, "you really lost 2 babies in a row, you can't deny it!" and honestly all I really want is to pretend it never happened.

It makes me feel guilty to admit that, like I am betraying those babies. But I would rather pretend it didn't happen then talk about it.

Maybe this month will be the month baby #4 comes to stay.