Here We Go

AF is finally gone so we DTD tonight. It's not even close to my fertile time yet but I am happy that it's finally time. That long AF made me feel like my cycle was never going to end!

CD 2, Definitely AF

I was really nervous that when AF full on started it was going to be hard. Going to be a bad reminder.

But it's so completely not like a miscarriage I feel silly for even being worried. It's been awhile since I've had a period and honestly, I forgot what it felt like!

Sure I have some cramps but really I feel fine. A little bloated but no where near the bloating I get while pregnant.

I feel a little tired and honestly that bothers me more then the cramps. I certainly don't feel like I need to go take as much as a tylenol.

In an odd way though, it still is a reminder of how both losses were definitely losses. Feeling how different this feels and remembering how awful those were... the thoughts in my head just keep going, "you really lost 2 babies in a row, you can't deny it!" and honestly all I really want is to pretend it never happened.

It makes me feel guilty to admit that, like I am betraying those babies. But I would rather pretend it didn't happen then talk about it.

Maybe this month will be the month baby #4 comes to stay.

Spotting

So I think this is it.

Pretty disappointed to be honest. I was really hoping it would be that easy. Hard thinking about how far along I'd be with each of my last pregnancies and knowing I am not pregnant and yet another month has gone by.

Yeah. Sucks.

Naturally my first mother's day as a mom of 3 will be spent most likely, with AF.

Awesome.

Who Knows?

So if I O'd Sunday AF is due today. No sign still. If I O'd Monday, AF is due tomorrow. I do not think I am pregnant at all. Definite BFN this morning. Like, no shadow line or anything I can even hope with. Nothing.

Of course AF is going to show tonight or tomorrow, ruining my date night Saturday and making Mother's Day out in the park for a birthday party unbearable. I might have to skip the party to be honest. I don't know if my period will be heavy or go back to normal and I don't want to be having a heavy flow while at a park for hours.

A Correction

My previous post was wrong. Thursday is NOT 10 dpo. Thursday is 11 dpo, and AF is due that day. So if it doesn't show but I get a BFN I will wait 2 more days.

There is a chance I O'd Monday and not Sunday and that would make it only 10 dpo, so if nothing happens by Friday I am officially late by either standard. I feel strongly that I O'd on Sunday but we'll see.

The 1 Week Wait

I think the best part of having such a short LP is that I know a lot sooner whether I am pregnant or not.

My LP RARELY changes. So essentially if I reach 11 DPO I am late, AF is MIA.

I usually spot 10 DPO and AF full on comes at 11 DPO. So if there I will be testing on Thursday, 10 DPO. If I get a BFN and AF doesn't show that day or the next I will test on Saturday.

If BFP I will test every day until I believe it lol! I have 3 FRER's and 2 digitals so we're set! :)

5 DPO

Ok so I am calling Sunday O day until proven otherwise!

Sometimes I am like , wow 5 DPO already? And yet at the same time I am dying to test!!!

Honestly my gut feeling is AF will show, and I will not be pregnant.

I am ok with that. It's in God's hands.

But if I am pregnant? I want to know now!!

So excited!

Thursday. Come on Thursday!

1 Or 2 DPO

Well I didn't expect there to be a possiblity this month!

BUT, here we are, and I am so excited!

OPK's did NOT work this month, not sure why, but they just failed. My last one was a few days ago and it was almost negative. However I took it when I hadn't peed in like 8 hours so maybe that threw it off? They say no FMU and while it wasn't FMU it was still a long time since the last time I peed.

Regardless, SURPRISE! I ovulated lol.

Part of me is like, it took 3 months with the twins, don't get excited, but another part is like it's April, of course I will get pregnant in April! I have the last 3 years in a row!

I guess we'll see in a week!