CD 26 - 1 DPO

Here's my latest update:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDl30AW0U38

And I am going off of a V-Day O based on OPKs so I am calling this 1 DPO and I am in my 2 WW!

CD 24

Temp: N/A

OPK: Negative

The top one is 3 minutes (you're not supposed to read until after 5 minutes when it's fully done) and then an hour later on the bottom one.

It doesn't look any darker to me then yesterdays. Sigh. Story of my life.

I am having ton of EWCM right now though.

Ugh I want this so bad. Just ovulate already!!!

CD 23

Temp: N/A

OPK: Negative (almost positive!)

I am SO excited to see the line getting darker! It was getting darker but then CD 21 it went back to being almost negative again. I was so disappointed so I didn't test yesterday. I was not expecting it to be this dark today that's for sure! DTD tonight and hoping I O soon!

CD 20

Temp: N/A

OPK: Negative

Negative but getting darker!!!! I am so excited! Bring on the O this week! I missed my window to have an October baby which sucks but I'll be due early November so those telling me that I am going to be jinxed into a November birthday because it makes the kids' birthdays January, December, November, bring on the jinxing!!

I picked up more OPKs and HPTs as I said I would. So now I have 9 (well now 8, I peed on one today!) OPKs, 3 CBD, and 11 FRER.

I think I'm set, no?

CD 19

Temp: N/A

OPK: Negative

Had probably the best sex of my life last night. I know you needed to know that!

Excited my OPK is a little darker (sorry it looks weird my camera has a macro setting but only if you set it to the automatic function and that one just decides whether or not you can use macro, you can't force it to ugh!) so that made me happy. I am buying more tonight so we'll see if they keep getting darker. Going to test every day now.

CD 18

Temp:  N/A

OPK: Negative.

As you can see I have had to take a break from temping.

Honestly I've been trying to brush it off like I wasn't stressing but I was. I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression and starting out this cycle I spent most days crying.

I just feel done. As you can see above my OPKs are almost completely negative so it's not looking like I am going to ovulate any time soon. If at all. I am so freaking tired of this.

The only positive is with my depression comes a lack of appetite and DH has already told me I look like I am losing weight.

I just do not think this is going to be our month.

Think I might get back to temping on Monday just to confirm O hasn't happened yet and maybe catch it. I am not sure yet though. We'll see.

In other news this is pretty cool:

CD 12

Temp: N/A

I didn't temp today. I was pretty depressed and disheartened last night so I stayed up watching TV and then went to sleep on the couch rather then get up and move too close to temp time. I got enough sleep to temp and I was going to until I woke up to see the clock said 6 am, the time DH is supposed to be at work (an hour and 15 minutes after I normally temp) and I freak out, run upstairs, trip and fall and rip the top of my toenail off, burst into the room, and he tells me he goes in at 8 am this morning so he doesn't have to get up yet.

To say I was pissed is an understatement, ESPECIALLY when before when I'd tried to go to sleep after sex while we laid in bed I had checked that the alarm was set for 4:45 right in front of him and he never said a word! So I did not get to temp.

Because I did not get to temp, and because I don't really even need an excuse to want to POAS I took an OPK to make sure I was not near O time.

Definitely negative. Still probably a week off, or more, from O. Which is not surprising but I was really hoping I would O early. So it was a little disappointing.

Mostly I am looking forward to buying more tests when AF comes. It makes me happy having lots of FRER's to pee on.

CD 30

I give up.

Temp 97.62. Don't get excited, I woke up really hot and asked Rob to turn the A/C on so that's probably why it's up a little.

OPK was way more negative then yesterday. It's barely there.

I am so tired of getting my hopes up only to have them come crashing down.

I don't even know what to do anymore. Failing at TTC is having a very negative impact on me right now, I'm becoming more and more depressed as each month goes by.

But not trying won't solve it. I am depressed BECAUSE I am not getting pregnant. I don't want it to be like this but not trying won't change how I feel either. IDK.

Thinking next month I may just write my temps down on paper and not plug them into FF or do CM checks or anything else like that and just try not to think about it. Might even just shut off FB for awhile too so I don't have to see all the pregnancy announcements.

CD 29

Ok so I did not temp. I had a hard time sleeping last night.

Honestly I am feeling like AF is coming but I decided to take another OPK tonight anyway.

Yay for darker! Maybe I might actually ovulate in a bit here!

Today's OPK

Negative.

CD 12

Because I am dying to see 2 pink lines...

CD 12 OPK - NEGATIVE