A Rock And A Sharp Place

I know that's not the saying but just go with it.

I feel isolated. Like I can't complain about what is going on because either my friends have never had to struggle and can't see why I even want another child (hard place) or they've had to struggle a lot longer then I have and they just naturally can't help but feel like if I get pregnant it was still less of a struggle then what they went through (sharp place - because a few of them might just want to stab me for whining).

I don't want to be a little whiny bitch. I know I whine a lot on here but that's because this is my blog and my place and I don't expect a response back like in conversation. I am not whining on here for pats on the back or reassurances. It's purely to get it out.

I don't know why I am having such a hard time with this number in all honesty. 6 months doesn't sound too long to be trying. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't sound like a huge amount of time. But then when you say 7 months it's like, holy shit. No sticky pregnancy in 7 MONTHS?!

I don't want to be bitter, I DON'T want to be a whiner, and I really REALLY don't want to be disrespectful to those who have had a longer struggle to have a(nother) baby.

I just don't quite know what I am supposed to do. Am I allowed to feel my feelings? Am I supposed to feel like these feelings are irrational and it's not as bad as it seems? Am I not supposed to be upset yet at all? I don't know.

In other news AF is FINALLY gone today after being here 11 DAYS!!!! Holy mother of fuck that is hands down the longest AF I have ever had that wasn't a miscarriage. And no, I do not think it was a miscarriage.

Thinking of starting some vit c this month and seeing what happens. Also going to start temping tomorrow since I finally found my BBT after moving.