And Again

Remember this?

It happened again.

She is due when I was due with my first miscarriage since the twins.

And now another cousin's girlfriend, whose child is not 1 yet, just announced they are expecting in April.

You know, the month I was due in before my miscarriage a little over a month ago?

I try so hard not to be bitter and mean. That's not who I want to be.

But it really hurts. Why couldn't that be me? Why do I miscarry and my cousins and their wives don't?

It isn't fair.

I just want to be pregnant again. I want to bring another beautiful soul into our family. I want to give my kids another sibling to grow with.

I feel like a complete failure that I can't do this now.