Still pretty upset from AF showing and still having such messed up cycles. I still just can't believe I am here. I feel bad saying it but anyone would think with my history my only worry was going to be a miscarriage, not struggling to conceive in the first place.
I was talking to Rob last night. I knew he was excited about Tinsel (our new cat) and was kind of using her as our vicarious baby. But when he said today when he told me he wasn't sad that we're now 9 cycles in to this journey and still not pregnant I got upset and told him it felt like he didn't care and that he was making it seem like this was not something he really wanted.
He paused the TV and turned to me and was quiet for a minute and he goes, "I'm trying to protect myself. If I think about it, if I let myself get my hopes up every month, I would be depressed right now. I don't want to think about it because I don't want to think something might be wrong and we're not going to have another baby. So I am doing whatever it takes so that it's not bringing me down every month when it doesn't happen. I do want another baby, and I am going to be so excited when it happens. But until then I just can't think about it."
Kind of reaffirmed to me that he does want this, calm the insecurities and hormones. He's in this with me even if he needs to try to feel it the least amount as possible to protect himself.
In other news, here is my chart for today, temp was 97.73:
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Baby Dust!