Feeling Down

I'm so bummed. I feel bad even complaining because most of my friends have tried longer to have a baby then I have. I just feel like, why is this happening?

I should have been 4 or 5 months along right now. Having my ultrasound, either finding out the gender or happy that we resisted the urge.

And yet here I am. Miserable, gushing blood. Left with an empty uterus. It just hurts. TTC sucked when it took 3 months with the twins. I was hoping to never have to do it again.

And now here we are, month 4. Please God let this be the last month.