Flow: Heavy.
Talked to DH about trying vs not trying. He said he didn't want to stop trying. He said he'd just been worried HE had been putting too much pressure on ME and stressing me out. But once I explained that I felt better trying, even when cycles failed, then I would not trying at all, he felt better about moving forward.
Right now all we are going to do is temp and I am going to try increasing my folic acid and continue trying to find some vitex. I have some errands to run on Thursday so I will probably do it then if AF isn't too bad.
I just don't even know what else to say at this point. Really at the point where AF doesn't surprise me, but I still get so hopeful and want it so bad every month. I wish I could get to a point where I don't get hopeful but I am not sure that point exists. The fact that I have just 2 cycles left (the one I am currently on and the next one) before the one year mark just makes me so depressed. I never though I'd get this close, I never thought I'd hit a year. And now, I might. It's no longer a far off thing.
It's here.
My heart hurts so much right now. I just want to hide from the world and turn off facebook and everything.
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Baby Dust!