Decision Made... For Now

I say for now because neither me nor DH feels 100% about which way we should go on this. Trying or not trying.

So for now we've decided to go ahead and try this month, and next month we'll just see. God willing we won't need to discuss it then but honestly I don't think I'm getting pregnant this month. Even just a few hours ago I was spotting red. So odds are, not going to be pregnant for awhile.

Quite heart breaking. Makes me angry at my body. But I am also ok with more time. More time to prepare emotionally and physically for the next round of "is that a real line?" and such.